It all started with peanut butter
by PenPenCobbleWobble
Summary: The story of Oswald Cobblepot rising to power and becoming the villain we all know and learning how to be in a relationship with a young woman and not get her killed. Rated M for Later violence, language, and future adult situations. OswaldxOC
1. Chapter 1

Oswald grabbed one of the jars from the shelf, and he looked back at the one still left on the display. He was confused. They looked the same but one was a dollar more. He put the one in his hand back and picked up the other one. Completely the same. He felt his face contort in confusion. He was just about ready to put it back when a voice came from behind him.

"Are you okay sir?" It was a nice voice belonging to a woman and his lip twitched up a little at the southern accent.

"Yeah I'm fine," he turned to look at her and brought his eyes down fast. She was a pretty girl, and he was not good at talking to pretty girls. "I'm confused about the difference in these two, uh, products." _Products? _ Seriously he said _products_. What else did he expect though. He was completely lost when it came to talking to pretty girls. With fish it was fine she was just old enough that it didn't matter. This girl however was young and closer to his age, and it rendered him useless.

"Well," she laughed softly, " there really isn't one. You see the one is your hand is name brand it's more expensive by default. The one on the shelf next to it is bargain, or store brand and its exactly the same as the name brand but its cheaper." She gave him a smile.

Oswald put the name brand back and picked up the bargain. "its the same?"

"Yup," she gave a pop on the 'p', " peanut butter is peanut butter is peanut butter." She looked at the tall man. He was a handsome guy. Clear bright blue eyes, dark messy hair, and his nose had just a little point to it. It was adorable. "Don't do this often?"

"Oh, uh, no." He looked at her from the side and gave a small awkward smile. She was really pretty. She had straw blonde hair and hazel eyes. Rosie cheeks and plump pink lips. Her hair was down and fell to her waist. Her skin was lightly tanned. She didn't even reach his shoulder. She was thicker than some but was curvy beyond desire. Wide hips, thick-ish legs and breasts he had to work to ignore.

"I can promise it gets easier." She smiled at him and held out her hand. "My name is Penelope May."

He took her hand cautiously and held it tight. After all a firm handshake was important. "Oswald Cobblepot, nice to meet you" he wanted to smack himself why did he tell her his real name. He was suppose to be dead and he couldn't just give out his name.

"It was a pleasure Oswald. Now that the peanut butter is taken care of are you sure you're okay?" she asked politely.

"You really aren't from around here." He gave an airy chuckle. When he saw her confusion he explained, "People in this city don't just come up to people and ask them if they are okay."

"Well, where I'm from we are kind to strangers and people who seem troubled. Maybe if Gotham was like the south there wouldn't be so much crime." Penelope huffed slightly.

"Maybe." Oswald looked at her, and felt his mouth moving and heard words forming before he thought to stop himself. "How long have you been in Gotham?"

"Oh just two months." She gave small shrug and a sigh. "I knew it would be different from my home but didn't realize how different."

" I can promise it gets easier," he teased gently. She smiled up at him shaking her head. "Why did you move?" He really needed to stop asking questions.

"Well I came up here thinking I would have a better job market for my career." Noticing his questioning gaze she continued, "I, well, I'm a voice and piano teacher."

"Really? I use to take piano lessons." He didn't know why he said that but he saw that smile and thought a joke might be a good thing to make, "I have to say, I'm an expert at playing chopsticks."

Penelope laughed, and looked up at him. He really was handsome. Maybe Gotham wasn't so bad and filled with horrible people. Oswald was such a kind gentleman.

"Uh, maybe, I mean if you wanted to, I, we could go out to lunch sometime?" the words were unsure and wavering.

"I would love too." she smiled and he smiled back. They just stared at each other smiling until Oswald started to look uncertain of what he should do and looking everywhere but at her. "Let me see your arm."

Oswald didn't have time to question it or agree to it before she grabbed his arm. The blonde pushed up his sleeve and pulled a pen from her purse. She clicked the black utensil and wrote on his arm. The feeling was odd and tickled slightly. She released his arm and he looked down at the numbers written there. He looked at her and smiled again.

"I will make sure to call before this washes off."

"Good. Well I need to finish up here and get going." She put her pen away and adjusted her purse, "I will wait eagerly for your call so don't take too long. Buh-bye Oswald, have a lovely day." She moved around him to continue down the aisle.

"Bye." He called after her, and quickly turned back to the shelves of peanut butter. He looked down in his basket giving the peanut butter jar a pointed look. "you started this."

Penelope sighed as she once again looked at her phone. Nothing. Nothing at all, and it had been a day. She groaned and looked down at the newspaper in her lap. She was sitting on her bed looking through the personal ads, searching for someone looking for a piano or voice teacher. Nothing so far. Plenty of ads from men looking for a cheap fuck, but no jobs. She was working as a waitress to help pay the bills but she really wanted to not be working at _Mels 24 hour diner. _

She threw the paper to her side and turned on her bed to glare at her phone. Why hadn't he called? Why didn't she get his number so she could call him? She huffed and got up and walked to her small kitchen. A nice cup of peppermint tea would brighten her mood. She opened her cabinet and grabbed the tea box. Penelope looked through the various bags and nothing. Nothing seemed to be the theme of her life. Cute boys who seemed like gentle men and said they would call, nothing. Job opportunities for her dream career that she has wanted for years, nothing. Peppermint tea to make her move to Gotham feel like less of a failure, nothing! She put the box back and slammed the door closed.

"Why won't he just call me?" She sighed but jumped as she heard the phone ring. She ran to her bedside table and looked down at the beautiful 1940's crystal circle dial phone as it rang. She took a deep breath and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey! Hows my sweetest lil' bell doing?" It wasn't Oswald but at least it was a familiar voice.

"Hey Kenzie, I'm doing good." Penelope smiled into the receiver.

"Oh no. Why are you down? I know that voice. What happened? Were you mugged? I knew you shouldn't have moved up there! I'm buying you a ticket home right now and you can live with me." The rushed voice made the blonde smile.

"Nothing like that I promise. It's just that I'm still working at Mel's I can't find a job and," She sighed for the hundredth time, "I met a guy who seems really great, but he hasn't called. I thought he liked me. He acted like he did at least."

"If I know you, and I do, Then he does like you and he is some scrawny tall thing that is a little shy and awkward and not good at talking to women."

"Are you judging my taste in men?" She heard her friend laugh over the phone.

"I have been judging your taste in men since the third grade." It was Penelope's turn to laugh.

"I met him in the grocery store and He was 'confused about the difference in these two products' it was store versus name brand, and it was peanut butter."

"Products? Seriously? Oh my God he is by far the biggest dork you have ever been interested in." The twenty year old plopped down on her bed.

"Yeah but you should have seen him. He was wonderful. He just hasn't called." The southerner pouted.

"Well he might not actually know how to talk to girls so he is going off of what he has seen in movies or some shit, and is waiting three days to call." Penelope made a face.

"Why in hell would anyone wait three days? If a girl gives you her number you call her either that night or the next day. You don't wait." she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Well It looks like you're gonna have to." Kenzie teased gently.

Oswald sighed as he walked into the back of the restaurant. He was dressed in his white uniform and walked to the sink that already had dishes waiting for him. He turned on the water and waited for it to get hot. He was pretty tired he had stayed up late thinking about Penelope and then woke and had been think about calling her all day. He reached the conclusion that it would probably be better to not call her. After all He had big plans for his future plans that a girl like Penelope wouldn't like. He rinsed the dishes and then reached down to plug the sink and fill it up with the hot water. The squirted some soap in and got started.

He had been washing for about and hour when he actually looked down at his arm. There was Penelope's number being washed away. He quickly pulled his arm out and looked down at the number. The last few numbers were fading, but still visible. the last one however couldn't really be made out. It was either a 3 or an 8. He wasn't sure. He groaned and cursed under his breath. He would probably never see her again and she was really the only girl who showed any interest in him. He wanted to bang his head on the side of the sink.

"Paulo! To the bar get the cups and clean 'em!" He heard the irritating voice of his manager. He sometimes wished he could shoot that man. He grabbed a dish bin and walked to the bar. Oswald looked up and saw Maroni sitting by the bar. He straightened his back the best he could with his injured leg. He had already spoken to Maroni once, and he had as far as he could tell made a good impression.

He stood behind the bar and loaded the glass cups into his bin. Maroni made his way to the bar.

"Get me scotch will ya?" Oswald looked around and saw the bartender was currently absent. He moved quickly to get a the bottle and poured carefully. Maroni looked up. " Ah Paulo." Maroni saw numbers on the young mans arm. "Got a ladies number did ya?"

"Huh? Oh yes sir." Oswald smiled to himself.

"You call her yet?" Maroni pushed. He, although was a crime boss, loved a good love story. He couldn't help it. It was how Mama Maroni raised him.

"No not yet. I'm actually not sure if I am." Oswald kept his head down and fidgeted a bit with the edge of the dish bin.

"Is she pretty?"

"Yes."

"Is she nice?" Maroni picked up his drink.

"Very." Oswald smiled a bit.

"Does she got a nice voice?"

"Yeah she's voice teacher."

"Oh. She's a singer. Call her." Maroni took a drink.

"Wha-"

"Ba-ba-ba-ba. Call her." Maroni looked oswald in the eye. "Trust me if the dame is anything like you make her out to be. She ain't gonna be on the market long."

"Okay then. I will call her tonight. Thank you Mr. Maroni sir." Oswald smiled Maroni walked back to his table.

Oswald walked back to the kitchen to clean the dishes. He worked the rest of his shift with a small smile on his face.

When Oswald hot back to his apartment. He pulled up a chair by his phone and picked up the receiver. He dialed the number and guesses the last digit was a three and called. He hung up the phone as a deep voice answered. He dialed the number again and dialed an eight instead. He was greeted with a familiar and lovely southern voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note!**Thank you every one for the lovely comments, follows, and favorites. It really felt good! Here is chapter two! I hope You guys like it. I will try to post every Friday!

Penelope finished loading the dishwasher, put soap in it, closed and started it. She went in to her bathroom and looked longingly at her big claw foot tub. She started the water and dropped some bath bombs in it. She moved to the sink and crouched down to look through the cabinet she pulled out her favorite candles and a lighter. She set her candles and lighted them. The tub still had some ways to go, so she made her way back to the kitchen. The southerner filled her kettle with water and set it on the stove she turned on the burner and opened on of her top cabinets to pull out a can of evaporated milk. She opened the can and measured out one cup, and poured it into a pot and set it on the stove. She went back into the bathroom and checked the tub. She stood there thinking for bit before deciding she needed a good book. She exited the bathroom into her room and went for her bedside table. She picked up the book sitting there and glared at her phone. Penelope put the book in the bathroom before she went to the kitchen to finish making hot chocolate.

The blonde came back into the bathroom and undressed she set her cup by her book on the small table she had next to the bath tub, and stepped into the warm water. She settled herself down and leaned her head back. She sat there and just let herself unwind a bit. It was a stressful day. Still no call from Oswald, no good jobs, and she had to go into the diner at six the next morning and was not looking forward to it. Letting out a long sigh she reached for her drink and took a long slow sip. It was nice. She put the cup back and picked up her book. She had been reading for a while when the book started to get adult. As she continued to read her breathing became slower and sometimes shaky. A familiar feeling began to form between her legs and one of her hands disappeared under the water. Her hand fell into a rhythm and a routine she had perfected back in her high school years. Her breaths became labored and she stopped reading and focused on her pleasure she was so close. She could feel it. Her head rolled back and small moans escaped her lips.

She practically screamed when the phone rang. She tried to calm herself down and got up out of the tub almost falling as the phone continued to ring. She couldn't see her robe or towel anywhere.

"Fuck." She hurried to the phone and fumbled with it. Taking a deep breath she held it to her ear. "Hello?"It came out a lot more unsteady than she wanted.

"Penelope? It's Oswald. Was this a bad time?" Oswald's voice came from the speaker. Penelope smiled.

"No its fine. I was just reading when you called I jumped out of my skin." It was close to the truth she had been reading for the most part.

" Oh uh sorry." They stayed on the line and waited for the other to say something.

"Oswald?" "Penelope?"

"Oh sorry you can go first." The blonde rushed to say.

"Right. Uh, well, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out sometime? Maybe for, well, pie or something?" His unsure voice made her smile to herself.

"Well lucky for you I happen to love pie." She twirled the phone cord around her finger. " how about Friday at six. We can go to dinner and then pie." She frowned as the cord tangled around her finger. She shook her hand trying to free her finger.

"That sounds great yeah. I will come by to get you." He sounded excited now and she smiled wider.

"Well I will look forward to it. Call me when you head over."

"Alright I will." Penelope could almost hear his smile through the phone.

"Good night Oswald. I look forward to Friday, Oh!" She said it fast to make sure he wouldn't hang up just yet. "One more thing. If a girl gives you her number don't make her wait okay?" She said it kindly.

"I will remember that next time." She heard an airy chuckle.

"Thank you. Have a good night see you soon." She hung up the phone as he said his goodbyes and put it down. She smiled and then frowned at her finger she untangled it and walked back to her bath. The was wasn't quite warm but not cold. She groaned and leaned down to unplug the tub. She grabbed her hot chocolate and took a sip. She pulled it away fairly quickly. It was cold. She went to her shower. She needed to actually clean herself though the bath did what it was suppose to and she felt immensely relaxed though Oswald finally calling her might have helped.

She turned on the hot water and let it run down her body. She grabbed a wash cloth and poured on some body wash it was vanilla and shea butter. It was her favorite. She scrubbed her body and rinsed. She cupped her hand and put a fair amount of shampoo in it. She worked in the soap and massaged her scalp. She turned around so her back was under the spray of the water, closed her eyes, and leaned her head back to wash out her hair. She then loaded her hand with conditioner and worked that through all of her hair, turned off the shower walked to her sink and grabbed a large hair clip. After pinning her hair she laid a towel on the counter, grabbed a razor and sat on the towel. She squirted some shaving cream, which she kept on the counter, and shaved her legs.

Once she had washed the conditioner out and rinsed her body once more she went back to her room put on underwear and a big thick sweater, brushed out her hair and put it in curlers. She blow dried it for about 5 minutes and then wrapped her head with a scarf and went to bed. Her head was full of good thoughts and feeling better than she had all day.

Oswald smiled as he hung up the phone. Maroni was right to tell him to call. '_Don't make her wait' _ She had been waiting for him to call. He smiled to himself as he looked round his rundown apartment. He would have to move up in rank faster if he ever wanted her to stay the night. His place was appalling he could never bring a girl back here. Oswald stopped himself. He was thinking about this too much. They weren't near that level yet.

Or maybe they were. He didn't know. He had never actually dated before. He was new to this. When was it appropriate to bring a girl back to your living space? Was there a set time or date? Was it different for every couple? Were they even a couple? Oswald didn't know any of this. Maybe he could ask someone. Maroni seemed knowledgeable, but he didn't think it would be a good impression to continually ask for dating advice. What would that say about him. Jim had a girlfriend he could ask him, but Jim wasn't a big fan of him just yet. He would be, but they haven't reached that point. He sat there pondering the mysteries of dating. He couldn't ask anyone. His mother would call her a whore, painted lady, and it would piss him off to no end.

It hit him suddenly. Newspapers had dating advice in them all the time. The was a news stand across the street from his apartment. He grabbed a jacket pulled it on and went outside. He gave the man working the stand a nod and grabbed a paper. He flicked through it, and nothing. Apparently he was the only one in Gotham with dating problems. He put the paper down and went back to his apartment with a sigh. He sat down on the only chair he had and leaned his head back. What was he suppose to do? He supposed he could ask Penelope, but he didn't know if that would be a mistake what if she didn't like him after that. What if he said it wrong and sounded like a pig? He reached over to the small radio on the table next to him and turned it on.

'_Happy Wednesday. It's Maggie and Alaina at night. Tonight like every Wednesday before call in and ask us your questions! It can be anything! School, dating, parenting, you name it we will answer it.' _Oswald jumped up and ran to his phone as the woman said the number of the station. He dialed and waited for an answer.

"Hi. I was hoping to ask Maggie and Alaina a question?" He said it bit nervously.

" _This is them! You're live on air! Who may we ask is calling?" _ Oswald grinned as he moved to turn down the radio.

"My name is Damian and I have a question about dating." He remembered that a few people he knew listened to this station.

"_Well go a head Damian_." It was a different voice this time that answered.

"Well I just started dating this girl but I've, well, umm, well never really dated before and I just was just wondering when its a appropriate to take a girl home? Not in an indecent way just, a, uh, friendly hanging out way."

"_Well Damian, I would say after about three dates you can invite the girl back to your place for coffee or something. Just a tip, Girls love a man who can cook, so maybe on one of your dates instead of going out you guys can stay in."_

"_I definitely agree with Maggie. If it was to be in an indecent way, we really couldn't help you there. That's the type of thing that is different for every couple. Another thing going on dates doesn't necessarily make you exclusive. After a few dates you two would mutually decide to become girlfriend and boyfriend." _The second voice, which he guessed was Alaina's, added.

"Okay. Thank you very much. That helps. That's all I wanted to ask." Oswald sighed happily.

" _You got it buddy! Anything we can do to help. Have a great night!_" Oswald then hung up the phone and headed to his room.

He smiled to himself. Now he knew. As he planned in his head the best times for dates and how to get a better apartment, he undressed and redressed in sweats and a t-shirt. He settled himself down for a good nights sleep with a sound plan in his head. He closed his eyes and thought about Penelope as he drifted to sleep.


End file.
